Bye y'all.

HOW MENTALLY ILL AM I?


[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for “hurting” you.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have ran into a tree/bush [And a pole once.. that REALLY HURT ;; I SWEAR IT CAME OUTA NOWHERE]
[x] You have been called a blond

TOTAL: 5

[x] you know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same melody
[ ] You just sang them to make sure
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.

TOTAL: 8

[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it
[ ] You type with three fingers or less.
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose .
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

TOTAL: 11

[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about [oh god I hate that]
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your ‘inside voice’.

TOTAL: 13

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math
[x] You have eaten a bug accidentally [hmm try MAGGOT IN MY HOT CHOCOLATE T.T]
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it.
[x] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time[My phone.. WHILE talking to my dad on it..along with many other things]

TOTAL: 18

[ ] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don’t. [I hate those.. they're dumb]
[x] You break a lot of things. [A sink.. a keyboard.. a toilet handle.. *goes on and on*]
[x] You tilt your head when you’re confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before
[x] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling
[x] The word “um” is used frequently.
[ ] You don’t know what “um” means
[x] You say “what” and “huh” a lot.
[ ] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin

TOTAL: 24
NOW, take all of your totals, add them together, and multiply by 4.
Then re-post as: "I am --% Mentally ill."

Rest in Peace Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and Ed McMahon. NOT a good week to be famous apparently.. o.o

Farrah is definately the most sad for me.. After such a long battle with cancer, all the hope she kept, and how hard she fought.. it's just so sad that she just ended up dieing anyway ;; Well may she rest in peace.. and I hope her family is doing alright, this must be hard for them.

Michael Jackson is just.. shocking as HELL. I mean.. hearing the words "Michael Jackson" and "death" in the same sentence.. it's just unreal. I just can't believe it.. it's like Elvis all over again! Except not quite.. but whatever.

Billy Mays.. WHAT THE HELL? Totally did NOT see that coming.. um o.o May he.. OxiClean in peace?

Ed McMahon.. uh.. didn't know much about him.. but he was old, so it's not horribly sad for me.. but hey, it's sad when anyone dies. So RIP.

--------------------------------------------------------

So yeah.. uh... I'm glad i'm not famous.. wow.

Not sure what else to say.. kinda messed up at the moment. I have no clue who I am, i'm having obvious problems, and.. just.. yeh. ISSUES. ISSUEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I'm at the library, yo.

Ummmm
I don't have a lot to update y'all on.. except i'm on anti-deppressants.. uhh
I don't feel them working yet, but I gotta give 'em time.

Hmmm
I haven't been eating.. dunno why, I just wanna like kill myself whenever I stuff anything into my mouth. So yeah i'm not eating much.

And uhh Iunno I might be bi..

I have no idea who I am.

What the crap is going on? I'm pretty much in love with a guy, and I have a girl crush.

GUHH

Anyway, just lettin' y'all know how much of a mess I am~ YAY!

FIRST OFF:
Anyone want to do an art trade or a collab? ANYONE? c: I'll probably start them when summer vacation starts, since exams are coming up and yadda yadda. But I want something to do once it starts. So yeah! Anyone? I'll take however many people comment, I don't mind. ^^

------------------

Okay well
At first, I wrote this huge rant about how I was at the lowest point in my life, about how much I hated myself more than ever, how I didn't deserve this, and that.. About how I felt dead inside.. and A LOT OF CRAP.

But

you know what?

That doesn't apply anymore!


I just had a huuuuuge talk with my dad.. and I feel looooads better. He helped turn on a lightbulb for me.. He helped me realise a LOT of things.

-I am in control of my own happiness
-There are many types of people.. two of those types of people are /very/ different, and do NOT mix well together.. it's like putting gasoline and fire together. I, do not mix with another kind of person. He called it narcissistic personality disorder. NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
-I need to freakin' stand up for myself.
-Some people are like EX-lax. They may look good and delicious and great, but they're good for shit!
-I can't just give my trust away so freely.
-I can't be so naive
-I need to stop falling for bullcrap, I need to stop being someone's goat, I need to stop being so willing to take the blame for everything, and I NEED to stop thinking i'm the one with the problem. I'm the one who challenges. I'm the one who has issues. Because even though i'm not perfect, not everything's my fault. And I need to stop falling for guilt trips, and falling for peoples' bullshit and mindgames.
-LOTSA LOTSA CRAP!


Basically, my dad is like.. one of the best people on earth

He helped me do a complete 180 in attitude.. I'm no longer at the bottom of the tank. I'm slowly recovering, slowly swimming toward the top. And it'll only get better from here! Yes, i'm hurt. Yes, I regret many things. YES, IM, again, HURRRTTTT.


But you know what?


Life moves on.






Shit happens. n_n -b

I think i'll be making a slow recovery from here.. working my way up the ladder.. And though this whole experience has been unpleasant, I have definately changed for the better. I've taken good things from this. I've learned a lot, and I will take it all with me through life's journey.

----------------------------

Oh and I had my second ever anxiety attack today. It was while in class with him.. We were playing fastball, and all of a sudden I couldn't breath.. I COULD, but barely. I couldn't see, I felt like I was going to pass out.. and after class and into my next class, I cried. For no reason. It was scary as hell..

I had reached my lowest.. the very lowest point of my life. Being ill for over a week + Anxiety attack + lotsa other things, all combined to create.. a loss of will to live, and he still didn't care.

---------------------------

Well anyway, i'm glad I talked to my dad.. He's a great person to vent to.. and he's really good at knocking sense into my brain. And lemme tell ya, HE DID! He made me realise that.. well okay i'm not going to go over it all, because there's a LOT of crap to cover, but.. all in all it was a conversation with a fantastic outcome!



Take care, y'all, love you~
-Wolfeh